How come my head is full
Of ideas and pictures and sounds
One day and the next
I find myself
Watching Dancing With the Stars?

I cheat and look online
So I already know who won
And now I try to write
Because writers write

I tweet instead
Tonight I have no thoughts
Deeper than
One hundred forty characters

Thinking about nothing
Will I ever get laid again?
Of course I will
If it doesn’t matter
Who does the laying
But it does

So I remain true
To my twisted values
Celibate
Chaste, even
Not by choice
But chaste nonetheless

It’s not easy
Being a freak
Who’s past
Her expiration date

I think I’ll go back
And watch the end
Of Dancing With the Stars
Even though I already know
How it’s gonna end

Career Paths

Career Paths

I met you years ago
After I left my love
Looking for me
Finding the search
A little harder than I
Thought it would be

I sat in a little office
Working the night shift
You wore a suit
Don’t know exactly what you did there
But we laughed sometimes

And you snuck up behind me
Made me jump
I sent you plastic handcuffs
In an interoffice envelope

Bought them at the party store
On the corner
On my dinner break
And some fishnet stockings
To give you a laugh or a thrill

I was a bartender two nights a week
For some extra cash
In an English pub
My lover was my boss there
Mad Englishman and
I was the bit on the side

You came in sometimes
On Thursday nights
With the sweetest girl
Stayed for a little while
Listened to some music
Talked to some friends

I worked until two
Had a drink, tried to sleep
Saw my lover between jobs
Fought like cats and dogs
Made up a lot

Watched him sink deeper
And deeper into the powder
Arthur was replaced by
Someone I didn’t want to know

Sometimes I didn’t want
To know me very much then either
Living with roommates
Hanging out with rock sluts
Musicians with big hair
The dealer

Beautiful crazy girls
Get more than they ask for
But it’s never enough
And it’s always too much

My drug was sorrow
Not too hard to find
If you only look
After awhile it costs too much
But you need it anyway

You went off to find your fortune
Married a beautiful girl
Became a titan
Of business
A father
A CEO

I went off to find a fortune
Of a different kind
My lover sunk deeper
Too much even for me
Found another lover
Killed her
Killed himself

I read about it in the LA Times
At 6:30 in the morning
He told me we would be together forever
Only weeks before

I still think about that day
How I wasn’t the one with him
When he finally went
So far over the edge
He could never come back

I found my path
Lived a good life
Strange success in business
I never sought but found
Regardless

All these years later
In a different place
Out of context
Here we are again
Older, smarter
Still living in the same skins

You’re still married
To the beautiful girl
And she’s still beautiful
You’re a grandfather

Who looks the same
As you did back then
Listening, watching, learning
It’s gotten you all the way
To the top

I have a little white cat
A serial monogamist
Past my expiration date
With a taste for bad boys

Only they are either dead
Or with twenty somethings
The universe has finally
Protected me from myself

And here we are again
I wonder if you ever think
Of the old days
And if it’s lived up to your dreams
If you’d have changed anything

It has and I wouldn’t
Hope it has for you
And you wouldn’t either